heart for hermosa

"Why do you want to be a journalist?"

Yesterday, I finally had the first meeting with the fifth and sixth graders at Casa Central for the newspaper club that I'm running there. I'm going to teach them some basics for a couple of weeks and then they're going to produce a newspaper for the other students and their parents there. I spent the first part getting to know them and their interests and also taught them the importance of spelling names right.

Then to gauge of how well they would do in asking questions, I told them to ask me questions. This was also done so they could get to know me better too. I mean, it is kind of random that some Asian girl would come and spend an hour a week doing this for a group of Latino children.

They asked really great questions. Sure there were the "what's your favorite colour," kind of questions, but there were also some amazing questions. Lissette asked some really interesting questions: "Who have you inspired with your writing?" and "Does your family support you being in journalism?" Jaime asked some good follow up questions. Once she found out who the "queen bee" of my middle school was, she proceeded to ask a million questions about why she was, how she treated me and if I knew where she was now.

Later on, Jaime said, "You lead an interesting life."

Which made me more excited for this project. I am excited about the aspect of opening career possibilities for children like Jaime. Also in terms of the industry, this is a great way of nuturing future journalists that could add to the diversity of the newsroom.

So I have a vision: that this newspaper will exist long after I'm done with Mission Year. That will either mean I end up staying in Chicago cause I have a job, or find someone in the industry who will take over. I can see this being more than a one-time thing that exists because I'm around. This is where my passion for this year will go. This is where I will invest the most time, money and strength. I think about the inner greatness that all these kids have and I want the chance to show a way they can tap into such greatness and using a skill that God has certainly blessed me with.

I'm not quite sure of the entire plan, but I'm getting there. I'm thinking of applying for a grant and have possible people I can bring in to help.

posted by mai @ 1:07 PM 0 comments

This weekend was an eating extravaganza. Friday, I had a craving for Kentucky Fried Chicken. After the greasy food stuck to me, I realize why I don't really eat there much. However, it was still good to have.
Saturday, I baked this awesome (if I say so myself!) Chicken Parm for the roommies. So obviously I'm really full from eating a big hunk of that with pasta. We get a knock at the door. It's our neighbor Mari. She invited us to come over for cake for her brother's birthday. Mariko and I were free so we went on over.
So we come in and there is blaring Latino music playing and tons of people walking around. Needless to say we both stood out. However it turned out to be a fun time. Anyway, we were going toward the kitchen for this said cake, and instead this nice old lady tells us to sit in Spanish. Next thing we know, she puts in front of Mariko a big plate full of food- BBQ chicken, skirt steak, rice and beans. I tried to tell her that we already ate but Mariko said "Don't, it would be rude." So the plan was that we were going to share. But a second later, she came out with another plate, this time it was placed in front of me. So the daunting task of eating dinner when we were already full. Luckily there were some cool young people there and we talked for a while about politics, Lord of the Rings and how America needs to get off its lazy butt and do something. I ate really slow, so it took me a good hour to finish off the food. I did it, but of course I wasn't feeling to hot after that.
Sunday, Jessica's mom was in town and she decided to cook Thanksgiving dinner for us. So we got everything- turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean cassorole and pumpkin pie. So I'm quite full for that.
Yeah I think I gained five pounds. But luckily though I ran three times this weekend, so I think there is some compensation!
*** the neighborhood greatness I had a great weekend in terms of getting to know my neighbors better. I had coffee with my neighbor Nerida, who lives down the street on Saturday and went running with Hazel on Sunday. I also met some new neighbors while walking around on Sat.
The more I develop relationships with my neighbors here, the more I realize how much we put limits on people if they don't fit a certain mold. Yes, there are things we can't control, but the one thing that doesn't change is greatness.
I believe God created everyone with such greatness. A greatness that wouled enable them not only to live a life that is "just enough" but rather a life of abudnance, that is flourishing. The problem is that most people in my neighborhood have a "survival" mentality. They only think about what they need to do to just survive. Life is about going from job to job. Living from paycheck to paycheck just to have enough.
I see that in both in Nerida and in Hazel. These two awesome women have so much promise. Nerida loves to learn about different cultures and wants to travel. But she is set back by the mistakes that she made and the limitations of not having her high school dipolma. Hazel is has a quality of entreperneruship, but yet is depending on the government to pay the bills.
I certainly can't magically change their situation. I can't magically provide good jobs and health care and all those other big ticket things. But what I can provide is the love of God. Let them know that I'm not going to sell them short like others in their life has. Let them know that life is more about surviving, but about tapping the greatness that is already there.

posted by mai @ 3:31 PM 0 comments

Jesus calls for us to be, not to do.

the last few weeks I been frusrated about my community service site. mainly because I'm not working directly with people (as I mentioned in my wrestle entry.) Well I still wrestled and wrestled with that issue. God, I prayed, shouldn't I be working with people in my neighborhood directly. I don't feel like I'm doing anything here, I just looking up stuff.

This week, in my hesitation, I kept searching for possible community service sites I could go to in January, or add onto now. I looked for soup kitchens, homeless shealters, tutoring after-school programs, basically anything where I felt I could do what "I felt" was more appropriate for Mission Year.
All while I was wrestling with God. What are you doing Lord? Don't you know that I'm supposed to be developing relationships. Let's face it Lord, I can't develop relationships with my database! I can't develop relationships in my office job.

I told Mariko about my thoughts and she asked simply, "What's your motive?"
My motive, I asked? Well I don't know really. Or at least I couldn't articulate it then.

Yesterday morning I was praying for one of the other Mission Year teams. As I was praying I thought about Christi, one of the team members, and how cool it was that she was developing this awesome friendship with one of the girls she was tutoring. "I wish I had that," I thought as I prayed.

BAM!

As usual the Lord answered my prayer about changing community service sites. Uh, Mai that's not going to happen. Do you hear yourself right now. Right then and there I realized my motive: I didn't want to change because I felt that's what I was supposed to do, I did it because my pride felt injured. My heart was to have what I FELT was best, not what God actually felt was best.

I accepted that answer. I knew there would be no more looking for other sites, at least for now. I knew that for now staying at Casa Central was the right thing to do, even if it didn't make much sense to me.

Later, in the afternoon, one of Pastor John's sermons (pastor of my church, GAP Community Church) came to my mind. Not just the last one, but the VERY FIRST ONE. In that sermon, as I remembered, PJ said if we wanted to lead and do God's work we must be willing to serve and learn. Hm.....then it occured to me. That's why I'm at Casa Central. I'm not just here to help and do stuff, but to learn. To serve the organization by fufilling a major need. I am doing what I'm supposed to by just being here not just doing stuff, not just by being busy.

This morning Mariko talked about Martha and Mary. Martha was busy trying to do stuff, while Mary sat at Jesus' feet, listening and learned. Martha told Jesus "Why don't you get Mary to help me, I'm trying to work!" But Jesus points out, "Martha, you worry about many things, but there is only one thing to worry about." Basically that Mary chose the best- to focus on learning and striving to be more like Him.

And that is what my goal should be here (as with anything else.) I'm not here to do stuff to earn brownie points, but rather to learn . It's good to do something, but it's best to just be. To be present.

Henri Nouwen writes that in solitude we learn that being is much more valuable than having. That our worth is so much more than what we are doing.

And my worth is so much more than what exactly I'm doing at a community service site.

posted by mai @ 2:52 PM 0 comments

wrestle

I had one of those wresling moments yesterday. It was about eight p.m...And I felt like I was going to explode. I couoldn't decide if I was going to read curriculum, write or something else. I was frusrated. Probably one of my first frusrating moments I've had since I've started Mission Year.

I felt pulled to pray alone. So I shut myself in my room and asked markio and jenny (we share the room) not to enter for a half hour. And suddenly let it all out to the Lord.

I told God that I wonder sometimes if what I'm doing for my community site means anything. I am just looking up statistics and trends for a social service agency. Two of my roommates work with elementary school kids. Another two are at a homeless shealter. Another one works with teenagers. The point is is that they all have preople interaction and I have none. How am I practicing the mission year credo of Loving God and Loving people when I'm not even interacting with people that much. I felt like I was doing Mission Year all wrong.

But then God made it clear to me. I have trust issues. I so often want to control my own destiney and stick things to my own standards when clearly his standards are much better. My standards, in reality, are quite inferior. Also, I am putting myself in a box, just because I'm not doing what everyone else is doing, doesn't mean there isn't a possibility of creating relationships with people in the neighborhood. This information can be used to help my neighbors. Here's a prime opportuniuty, I realize, to help my neighbors in a way my roommates are not able to. I just haven't fully realized it. Really it's balancing the day-by-day tasks with the knowledge of the big picture. When I understand both, the fruit will be there.

But really the key point is that it's not about feeling good about what I'm doing. Mariko pointed out earlier, "maybe you're supposed to wrestle" with this. It's when we struggle with God that he uses it to develop us in better people. It's okay to struggle. It's a matter of trusting that what I am doing will be used best to fufill God's will.

posted by mai @ 1:25 PM 0 comments

Hey all welcome to the mission year blog. This blog was revived in order to provide a modes of communication for my supporters. Look for stories, insights and other things that I can't fit in a two page newsletter.

Enjoy!

posted by mai @ 11:14 AM 0 comments